It Never Felt Easier..

I’ve done this uncountable times, you know that. It’s not even refreshingly nice now, isn’t it?
I know you’ll say no..cuz this time it’s different. We both know why.

I never ever had known the meaning of love, for the past two years. Really. Yes, I loved you, but the full blown impact was never known. Everyone defines love, it’s attraction, care, warmth combined, so I also thought, well I am in love. I am in love because I feel the same when I am with you. I used to wonder in the past two years (sans the past two days), do we really “love” each other? Or is it a mere , super strong attraction? Which will fade out? In a while, maybe 4-5 years, but will it? I never really could understand what the word meant. Love. Isn’t it too complicated? I wanted it to stay, I wanted to be with you forever. I wanted to dream about growling old with you. I wanted to sing hopelessly romantic songs for you. But, something nagged me. Something deflated my happiness’ air balloon. Just a pin prick. But it did. For the past two years. Not that I did not feel loved, or that I did not feel attracted to you. I was scared. I was scared of all this vanishing. I was scared if this was true love or not. I did not wanna lose you after all this!

We were never the usual couple, as in the ones in our age group, were we? We never did public display of affections, no over-the-top show of the surge of love, nothing. No dates. (if you don’t count the gol-gappe waala dates ;) ) No show of money. We were just plain, stupid people. We never changed partners every six months, did we? See. I know people, friends admired us for our strong bond. But there were jealous people too. How, we never swayed, until, well a bit ago?
How we were unfazed, as to how , what will someone think about us? We couldn’t care, when we were together. Could we? I was yours, you were mine. It was a picture perfect tale, as the others said.

But, we had our shares of problems, din’t we? It was so much, that I couldn’t handle it. I broke it all off, did I not? I thought it was all over. I thought we were done. I thought, we were also like those innumerable ones who couldn’t stay. I thought I was back to being a part of the dull, grey universe I was a part of, until I met you.
You thought that too. And Why not? You’re human too. You thought maybe I hated you from the core of my heart. You shattered.

What you did not do is, leave hope. You clutched it tighter than your soul. What you did in the past two days, twirled my world. Completely. Your dedication, the magnet of affection, the unsurpassable thankfulness for every “I love you” I said, I could feel it. Too. I could feel it all coming to me, to us, like a crash of tsunami. Then I knew. I knew it. I knew it was love. The answer I was waiting for, had finally come walking to me. It all felt so easy that time. Did it not? You told me, you feel different too, why not? We had attained something unbeatable. I love you. I knew it. There, that moment, you said you could do anything for me, I knew. I knew I could lay down my life for you, unflinchingly. I knew nobody could understand, what we felt. What I felt, at that time.

It’s easy to say we’re in love. But at that moment, it never felt easier.