The One

 

I need to meet eyes with you

in a crowd

I am lost without you

without your grace

I need to hold hands 

I fear losing the feel

of your touch

I need to take care of you

you polish my compassion

I want to brighten your world

I want to paint it red

and blue

for your happiness

I could steal the stars

But they dont shine 

as the sun does

My sun, being you

I want to be your anchor

I want to be your cane

I want to be your breath

Invisible, but right there

I could say be with me

It doesnt justify my feelings

I could say marry me

oh please

spend your life with me

but

I don't want to be the one

I'm content just being your someone

for a moment, a minute 

or an hour

I'll take your hand each time

like it was my last

Bangkok!

For the hundredth time in the day, I IM'ed my boyfriend and told him about these particular string of lights I want. He was all set to go to Bangkok and I knew such amazing things are sold in Thailand. He was extremely caught up in his preparation of the work trip and I was left alone to sulk and dream about those pretty lights. Never being the one to sit back and just keep waiting for things to happen, I switched on my laptop and opened Google. I searched for those beautiful lights, and how right I was! They are only sold in that country! Kick staring my wild imagination, I started looking about Bangkok and what that amazing city is all about. I had heard so much from all my friends who had had the opportunity to visit, but I'd never really thought about it until yesterday and now I just cannot stop planning my dream visit to Bangkok!

Update:
He is already in Bangkok and giving me a virtual tour of that beautiful, enchanting city! Man! I’m sooo jealous.

So, you must be wondering what did I find so awesome that I cannot stop talking about it? For starters, I am a sucker for cute accessories. Anything that is chic and quirky is on my wishlist! OMG Bangkok is THE place to be if you are looking to shop apparently. Cheap, cutsie stuff! Whattay steal! Shoes, slippers, dresses, bags, sunglasses, accessories, string lights..you name it and they got it! They also have so many tailors which, if everyone is to be believed, are cheap and sew like magic. I’m not all that materialistic..but a girl needs to have what she needs to have.

The lovely Loy Nava boat ride is what is the most exciting. I am not out and out romantic, but some conventional classic things are bound to sway even the most tomboyish of us. Since it was my boyfriend who told me about it, it was even more special because we kept talking about how much fun it would be with both of us there. I love canals and I had no idea there are more cities connected by them except for Venice! I remember watching an episode of “The Amazing Race” and seeing the wonderful floating markets! I mean..spending a whole evening with each other over looking some beautiful scenes and munching on fabulous food, what more can one want?

I am not the most religious person, but I love exploring different places of worships. I found Bangkok to be home to thousands of lovely “wats” or temples. I like to see different architecture and how different cultures worship and find peace. It’s amazing how we look for the same thing in such different manners. You know what is the best part? I actually realised that Indians and Thai people are so similar! Our culture is very family oriented, we are very serious about hosting our guests and are workaholics. I am blessed to be an Indian and would really like to see how the threads of our culture are woven in a foreign country.
My favourite flowers are the orchids.. they are native to Bangkok! Imagine finding an orchid garden! My dad used to buy me those every birthday, and somehow in growing up the ritual dwindled. I would love to be my 15 year old self getting lost amidst such beauty.

 Trips without a ride to a water park are a waste for me. I looked up the Siam Park City and oh boy WHAT AN AMAZING PLACE!! Slides and all that jazz.. makes my inner child excited!

Who doesnt like food? I am a big street food lover and I know Bangkok has so much to offer for foodies like me. Perfectly done flat noodles with soft boiled eggs, mamma mia, my mouth is watering just thinking about it! I love quaint hole in the wall locations, because I feel like those are the places which actually maintain the authenticity of the food they offer. Oh, and also, they are dirt cheap!

I kept going on and on about my dream vacation with my boyfriend too. He interrupted my thoughts asking me a necessary but saddening question.

Boyfriend: Hey..stop! Are you going to just dream or look up tickets to reach Bangkok?
Me: Uh. You know how much I hate looking at the ridiculously expensive tickets! They just make me want to sit at home and sulk and not ever think of flying out.
B: But, you want to travel.. why don’t you search?
Me: I wont find anything.

So finally with a big sulk I started searching. I came up with the usual expensive flights and was nothing more than disheartened. I mean, why just guzzle everyone? You fly so much, I’m sure you make enough money to cover costs and gain an decent profit. After looking some more I actually stumbled upon AirAsia. I felt like I found a goldmine. Affordable air travel!!! World's best online travel fair! The best part is that I want to visit sooo many destinations in Asia that my heart is swell with joy at this lovely discovery. I poured two hours on the website trying to see if there is some catch.. no sir! None at all.

I called up my boyfriend that very moment and we both logged onto the website. We did a mini hi5 and danced on Facetime at our good fortune.  Can you imagine what this means? That my dream can actually be true! We ticked so many locations on our bucket list, all thanks to AirAsia.

Looks like my dream to visit Gaggan, the Indian molecular food restaurant isn’t that far off! It features on the top 50 Asian restaurants, btw. Talk about diversity in just one city.

Now to day dream about that visit to Kuala Lumpur..  ;)

One Last Time

"Last time. One last time."

He was her best friend. Stereotypically a best friend is someone you have spent your childhood with. Someone you have shared crayons, countdowns to the release of every Harry Potter book, tears when Sirius died, stolen a basket for that stray kitty and made your first omelette with. She had all these memories intact.. but they weren't with him. He was new. New to her roller coaster life. New to her wild ways, new to her over enthusiastic excitement over a little stray puppy and a blank expression for her first salary. New to her emotional outbursts and the ferocity that accompanied her love.. She was outgoing, crazy, but in a constant struggle to shut her despair. She was someone else.. till he breathed reality into her.

He was not like the usual males of his age. He was shy. Reserved. A complete introvert. Never the one to make plans, or go out, simply because he never thought someone would want to spend all their time with him. He couldn't remember routes, or name his favourites without thinking hard. He didn't know how to hug..simply because he had never hugged anyone. He was scared to emote. He was in a constant disagreement with her that he was the most amazing person on this planet. He grew up struggling to present the tough guy demeanor and succeeded.. till she took the reins for him.

They became friends due to the need. The need to lean on someone who is completely unknown to your life and non judgmental. The need to have a breather from the monotonous life. They were each other's confidante, secret guilty pleasures. Someone who knew the bare, ugly soul of yours and accepted it without any questions. It was not a fairy tale. It was the need for an anchor combined with the moroseness that led them to take shelter in each other. She didn't trust anyone and he wasn't scared to probe into her shell. He was curious about her, she was mad at herself for letting someone in her real life. He saw her differently. He saw right through every painstakingly built wall of hers. She let him. She introduced him to herself. The real self. Texts, calls, tears, alcohol and mostly, loneliness nurtured the impulse to share everything with each other. They encouraged each other. Made each other feel on top of the world when the whole world was spitting on them. He always had his handkerchief ready to wipe her tears and she never hesitated to take his hand when life wasn't being fair. She stood up for him.. He started opening up to her. It was still the need driving them.. but now the little sprouts of her fierce protection and his calming loyalty had started cropping up. The need to catch each other's eye in a crowded room was being fuelled by something else other than friendship..

She loved him. She loved him for all that he was. She loved him for the beautiful friendship he had tended for her. He loved her too. He loved her simply because she was the first one not to walk right past him. She knew he loved her, he knew he could whisk her away. But, it wasn't a fairytale. It wasn't easy. They were too important for each other. They couldn't let this muddle of emotions strangle their friendship.  It was a glass house they had built together. The envy of others, beautiful..but fragile. One wrong move and it would all fall apart beyond repair. They let it be.. Tried to. They tried and never made it till the end of their resolution. They tried every trick in the book, stayed apart, tried to stop talking.. tried making new friends.. all the while thinking of each other. they gave in. One emotional conversation and a day spent in each others company later, they started seeing other.

It was not the way the expected it to be. The love grew.. It grew in leaps and bounds and a little more than it should have. Their friendship dwindled due to the lack of compatibility as a romantic partner. She was devoted.. He needed his space. All their togetherness faded into nothingness. Their similarities came biting back. The opposites attract statement started making a lot of sense suddenly. Their egos, their hot headed behaviour.. combined with the affection they still had.. Left them in a strange land. They couldn't exist without each other, but being with each other seemed impossible. She started thinking he didn't love her anymore, he thought she didn't want him the way she did before. They struggled, broke apart, ran back into each other's arms because they realised it was the most stupid, senseless thing they ever did for each other.

Things weren't smooth. They never were. Neither through their friendship, nor through their romantic plunge. He dumped her again, she didn't beg him this time. They were fighting with themselves, and why not? They had a long history together. They still talked.. but it wasn't the same anymore. They barely called each other and the texts were formal and forced. He thought of her laughter. She dreamt about his shy smile. They kept it to themselves. She was about to go away, continents away and they both thought it was all over. It was a dream and they were now being woken up to a giant hole in their lives. They were left to figure out which parts of it were real and which were imaginary. There was nothing they agreed on.. except the belief that it was all going to be over.

It was her last day with him. Being in his physical presence. Being with him in flesh and bones. Her bags were packed, her tickets printed. She was all ready. She even had her shoes on. He had started working. She didn't think he'll make it.. or would want to make it. He came. He came to say goodbye. They joked. Laughed. Took pictures. Avoided each others eyes. they smiled through each others painstaking efforts to not say all that they were holding back. Until that one moment that their eyes met. They were in the standing in the middle of a busy road and it was a Saturday evening. Families were strolling and cars were zooming past them. She held his gaze, and he didn't blink once. The hustle bustle of her favourite city and the city that brought them together was the soul witness of the exchange of a thousand unspoken words between them.

"Last time. One last time." She thought. She reached out. He enveloped her. They embraced for one last time, binding their togetherness, sealing it with their tears. He held her close. She let him. She let her heart follow his uncharted path. He murmured promises of togetherness, she barely heard him. Between her sobs and wiping his tears, she decided to fight for him. They'd never had it easy, and this was no exception..
 He held onto her..and for the one last time she let herself melt into him.



This post has been entered in the Platinum Day of Love contest at Indiblogger.