Monday, November 14, 2011

'We're Modern!''

A lot of times, when we (read: educated 20 somethings) witness an outrageous event like eve-teasing, or curse the 'orthodox' people for being so narrow minded about relationships, live-ins, short skirts and so on, we all presume one thing; that all of us do not and will never support such things. We shall try to abolish such practices and be the harbinger of liberal and open thinking. Do we not?
But as we grow old, we realise that only some of us are actually brave enough to do such things. Only some of us have actually imbibed the thought of not doing crazy things that have been practiced since time immemorial and following the herd.

Of course it sounds absurd to our educated egos. One might think, 'I don't support female foeticide or sati, so how am I still backward?' But, then that's the truth. Almost 90% of still are stuck in the time warp that bridges the sane, practical living from the insane ones.

It all started a few months ago. The realisation, that is. I never knew that a lot of the modern families still accept dowry! The more the bridegroom's degrees and/or salary, the more is the dowry.
'Why?', I enquired.
'Darling, that's his worth!', pat came the reply.
I probed further with my naive logical reasoning. If the groom was earning well, why did he need more money? Wasn't that, in simple terms, stupid? Apparently not, I was told.

Two months after that, I was discussing the perennial 'when I get married..' with my friend. (Every girl does that, so that's not the appalling part!) I was telling him that I want to get married at the Plaza. He said jokingly, how rich are you? I replied in all my seriousness that I'd try earning enough to pay my share. He asked me, 'what share?' I elaborated that both of us will pay half, so my share of that. He rolled his eyes at me and scoffed. He told me that I'd never get married if I didn't change my thought process!

Yes, I had seen in the never ending soap operas that the girl's family pays for the wedding. I always thought that it was something really crazy. I mean, her parents educate her. Some even spend their life savings for that. When she's able enough to earn, they part from her. Leaving emotions and equality behind, and just doing the math, the groom should pay for it!
You don't agree, do you? See what I mean?

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Happiness is Free!

True, diamonds are a girl's best friend. True, money can buy everything. True, one cannot survive, let alone enjoy life without money. Having said all of that, I still believe that the best things in life don't cost anything. Picture this: You have all the riches in the world. Maybe to such an extent that you can afford to buy your own island, get a castle built up there, move around in your own personal jet. But then, you don't have anyone to share it with. No friends, no family, nobody. Imagine cracking a joke, and not sharing the laughter. Imagine having access to the best chocolates in the world, and having nobody to fight for it. Imagine, and imagine, getting a promotion and having no one to celebrate it with! Would that make you happy? Would you rather face some hardships with your loved ones or be stinking rich and alone?

I am not an ardent believer of philosophical theories, infact, a lot of times I condemn them. But some of them are just so true, that one cannot, even if they want to, ignore them. There is an unparalleled, lasting joy in those little things that one experiences, even if it is for a moment. Those moments weave our memories which we cherish and nurture for the years to come. These are the memories which help us sail through our most trying and testing times. A huge Sunday breakfast, running around with your dog, searching for a seashell, trying to catch hold of a butterfly, finding animals in the cloud, aren't these the things that dot our childhood? Do we end up remembering how much money we spent on our birthday dress, or how much cake was mashed into it? There is just a very thin line between having money and having happiness, and we, in our spree of ignorance, tend to skip that line. Trying to buy happiness is just like taking the stairs to reach the 42nd floor, when the elevator is fully functional!

Isn't it ironical? We run after money, keep slogging like the slaves from 18th century, fight with out loved ones, crib, beg, plead and even steal in the pursuit of being happy. What we forget is that quintessential happiness is, was and will always be, free.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

What The HELL!?

So much so for all the promises of love and trust and togetherness. What happened, eh? Where did all of it vanish to? Promises are tested in trying times, not when everything is just perfect. Not when life couldn't be any better. Just because I let it go, given the fact that I love you, and I don't want to fight with you doesn't mean that I am your doormat. Come, brush off your dirt and still expect me to smile and wait for you to do the same thing the next time.

What is a relationship? Isn't it a give and take thing? One has to compromise, doesn't he? And shouldn't both the parties be the understanding ones? Why should just one of them keep begging and pleading around and understand? Why can't one just be a little tiny bit supportive? What the hell!?

I am NOT you puppet, you know that? I am not someone you can manhandle and say sorry whenever you feel like and then expect me to come running back to you. Life is NOT a movie, darling. Neither am I a stupid 5 year old. I am an adult, and sorry to say I behave like one too. Too bad you're still stuck at the age of 2. Grow up. Please. For your own sake.

Oh hell yes I am pissed. Don't even try to talk me out of it.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Seeking Perfection

'Who doesn't want perfection?' So said my friend, in a meek response to why she didn't want to apologise, be a bigger person and undo some not-so-happy incidents from the past. She wouldn't say sorry, because that would mean accepting her faults and falling a notch below the perfect friend standards. (If there is something like that!) She was ready to forgo her friendship to maintain her pride. I wanted to roll my eyes and tell her off, for using such ridiculous excuses, but I didn't. I just smiled and walked away. 

Was it true? Truth be told, I've never thought about it. Yes, I am very particular about where my belongings are placed, I love cleaning my room all the time, I space the words in my assignment as accurately as I can, but do I look for perfection? Do I work towards it all the time? I don't really think so. I work to be better than before, to be presentable to the level that it pleases everyone concerned, and that's it. I wouldn't ever be so obsessed with perfection that I throw away my life in the need of being "perfect". Maybe when it concerns materialistic things, I might look for the best, but never when it comes to people. We can't be on our guard every second. We cannot carry our checklist all around, just because we don't want anyone with faults. "Who's perfect, anyways?', I want to ask her. Is there anybody in the world with whom one cannot find anything wrong? Isn't that what makes us humans, and not robots manufactured in a high maintenance factory? Isn't that what distinguishes us from all the impressive perfect things that man himself has created?

It's disheartening to know that we've become so competitive and heartless that we don't want to accept anyone with their set of unique habits. It might be unacceptable to us, but that's the way of life for some people. We cannot judge people all the time. It doesn't leave us with anyone to have a laugh with, anyone to share our sorrows with. We are social beings, and we cannot exist alone in our perfect little world. Like it or not, we have to learn to accept people the way they are. For the sole reason, that they accept us too, and that's how it has always been.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Grown Up!

I was born in 1991, so technically, I am an adult. 20 years old. Sounds all fancy and independent, right?

But figuratively, I was just another 14 year old teenager. I couln't even make proper chapatis, let alone cook a whole meal. I'd never moved beyond the usual maggi-with-juice-or-sandwich-for-apparent-variety. I'd never folded my clothes, never did any of my important stuff on my own. Even when I had to go somewhere, I used to pack my bag, and my mom used to counter-check it, because she always used to feel that I would leave something for the last.
Which was, sort of, true.

Till last month.

Since I've been staying alone, I've miraculously become so responsible. It's so surprising, because I never really felt that I had it in me! I mean all the multi-tasking and stuff. I was the laziest person I'd ever met. (And I meet a LOT of new people.)

I cook for myself (and that's pretty decent too!), I wash my clothes, I attend my classes, study properly as well! Can you believe that. More like, I cannot believe that!
I've started my internship too, which makes it really hectic, because I have to travel to two extreme ends of the city everyday. And I don't crib.

I find time to do everything, and I love love my busy schedule. Where I don't have the time to sit and think about useless things, which just initiate the whole negative thought procedure in my brain.
And it's wonderful!!

Maybe that's what I needed.

Things now work just my way and I am having a good time. I don't have to adjust to anybody's schedule and I can maximise my time doing stuff just for myself. It's taught me time management. It's taught me not to waste and while away time like I used to earlier!

Heck, I even discovered what a cleanliness freak I am! I just cannot survive in a mess. (Agreed, my standards are not mom standards, but then, I am on that path :P )

So, I am grown up.
It's not even a weird feeling.
I'm not scared anymore.

Bring it on life! Because, as they say, if life throws lemons at you, just catch them, squeeze them, and make a lemonade for yourself and enjoy the moments as they pass! :)

Monday, August 29, 2011

Staying Alone!

Can you believe that? I couldnt.

I have to stay alone for a whole year. Without my parents, sister, my family!! :/
The earliest I can meet them is the next year. Yes, I do have relatives/friends etc etc to give me company and take care of me..

But how am I supposed to manage without my sister?

I've never slept without her being at my side. Never. She was the one I could do all my stupid stuff with. Without the fear of being judged. And now, I just dont have that support. Frankly, before this, I hadnt really understood her importance in my life!

And why am I far away?

STUDIES!! Can you beat that?

Ah, that's a huge panic attack and I really don't know what to do.
Maybe I deserve an ice-cream.

..But, I always go for ice-creams with my sister.

Where did I land up? :/
Calm me down, someone!

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Forever, Forever, Forever 21!

Yes obviously it's the same Forever 21 I am talking about!

I was a big fan of their chic clothing range back in India as well. It's a fairly decent store with a good floor space and collection. I had decided that my next birthday shopping will be done there. And maybe that I would recommend my friends to go there as well..
And all those things.

And then I went to the Forever 21 store at Times Square.


It's a F-O-U-R level store. The place makes you forget that there's a world outside. (A beautiful one, I might add.) It makes you wanna cry, and it makes you realise why do people get stuck within debt traps and resort to shoplifting.


Because of such allurements the world has to offer to us lesser mortals.
The place is filled, stashed and overflowing, with beautiful clothes, shoes, dresses, accessories, cosmetics, and more clothes..!

I'm a clothes person, but not a crazy one. (Oh well, yeah crazy but not as crazy as I am about accessories) There's a whole floor dedicated to accessories. All the cute, gothic, junky, delicate type of stuff you would ever dream of. I've been there a lot of times already and I am so gonna go there again!

It's just amazing. Try on all those pretty things, (doesn't cost you anything!) and buy the one you love the most. No prizes for guessing that I've already bought two beauties.

(Act all happy like you really wanna know, please)
(I am anyways gonna rant) :P

One is a Mesh Pendant Necklace,

and the other,

a Bejeweled Bottle Necklace

Ah. Pure love.

Yes I am awestruck.

(maybe in Forever 21)


Monday, August 8, 2011


It never was this way!
I never felt this way..
I've known you forever,

Ah! It's new,
It was always there,
But now, there's a different light,

Whenever I see you smile,
My lips do twitch a little.

When I see you laugh,
My heart does sing a bit.

Whenever I see you looking at me,
I do get a little woozy.

And, oh, whenever you look away,
My happiness sinks, a wee little bit.

The times you talk to me, just me,
It's a special adorable feeling.

And, when you turn away,
Especially to talk to some other chick,
A tiny green ray seeps in.

You tell me that I'm beautiful, pretty or even cute,
I say it doesn't matter,
But my red cheeks tell a different story.

You tell me that I'm special,
The most important thing to you,

And I realise,

I'm falling in love, alright.

Monday, August 1, 2011


So you always hear the term, but never really know what does it mean till you experience it, right?

It can never be explained, yet you wish someone had atleast given you a hint of what it is..
(They must have, but we never fully grasp it!)

And it's not really a moment of divine intervention that you want to experience it! Trust me on THAT.

Ah, nothing really happened. I was just wondering about it..
You make your friends, have the time of your life with them and just when you think you've found your best chum ever they do something which just cannot, cannot be digested. And then starts the tragedy of sadness, anger, mourning, depression, destruction and all those things. You start dating someone, life is all beautiful and one fine moment it's all gone. POOF.

Why? because of some stupid irksome reason which becomes so annoying that everything comes crashing down!

Had you ever, ever, EVER thought about it?

It's like you meet the man of your dreams, he pulls out the chair for you, calls you the first and last thing in the day, doesn't look at other girls, and tells you that you're the most beautiful girl ever.
(Yeah, such species don't exist, but it's just an example :P )

You move in with him, marry him and all the usual other things..blah and blah.

and then you find out that he picks his nose, snores when he sleeps or maybe doesn't do the laundry for a month at stretch..

How would you feel? Wouldn't you prefer pulling out your own chair, and be with a cleaner human being?

See? That's what is an Aftershock.

(You wouldn't take it seriously. till you experience it, but then don't tell me that I didn't warn you!)

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Done with College!

Damn! Wasnt it just yesterday that it was my first day and I was a little skeptical about joining this particular college? :/

What just happened? Where did the three years go? Frankly, I have no recollection whatsoever. (No, no hangovers please!) Here I am, a graduate with not an iota of sense than before.

Or maybe I do, as I said, I have no idea!

My class :)

I used to hate college back in my first year. It was worse than school! All that discipline, strictness, attendance issues left me wondering, "weren't these things just supposed to be forgotten back at school?"

But Nahh, that's how my college works.

And, after three years, I'm so gonna miss that. I'm proud of the tough environment, the conditioning to smile and find joys in every little thing that we've inculcated. I'm proud of the maddening deadlines, the million examinations and everydamnthing that makes me what I am today.

I made some crazy friends, lost some, learnt some lessons, had the time of my life, joked around, fooled (myself), and yeah, studied. I did.

I know I'm ranting, maybe not making any sense with all the disconnected topics that I am jumping from here to there. But the thing is that I'm a wee bit scared.

Okay, A LOT.

It just feels like some void is coming through. Like it's coming around and someday, will hit us with full blast. It's scary, and I don't really wanna face it. The carefully built up life that we had, will come crashing down in one single moment.

I'm waiting for it..

Till then, I'll keep on preparing myself!

Sunday, May 15, 2011

The Dilemma of Food-a-holic!

Let's start with the alarming facts first:

I've put on 5 Kgs in the past 2 months.

That is something to believe the title, I guess. :/

I hate exams, to begin with. It's not about the studying part, (that's a well established fact that we all hate studying!) but the kilos we pile up. I keep eating and munching and gobbling something or the other 24*7! And, most of the times it's those pick-me-up-fatty-foods.

I try staying healthy. But, cannot.

Why on earth would you pick a salad, when you can savour a delicious mango shake topped with whipped cream?
Or a plate of aloo-tikki?
Or maybe some gorgeous mayonnaise sandwiches?

You get my point, don't you?

On top of it, I have cultivated this fetish for cooking all of a sudden. Talk about all the calamities striking the same moment. Yes, cooking is great, it's a lot of fun, to buy those beautiful ingredients and whip up something to gobble down again!

Lots of cribbing apart, and not to forget the damnable calories, I love scourging the net for those easy-to-make delicious dishes, and keep on experimenting around. I never knew cooking was THAT fun and not some rocket-science as well..!

The best part: You don't have to follow those recipies to the T. You can always experiment and whip up something uniquely yours :)

P.s: Something waiting in my list of bookmarks to be tried out after the exams: Poached Pears with Ice Cream and Raspberry Sauce

Sounds Delicious, doesn't it?

Friday, April 22, 2011


Terrorizing fears,
Shameful tears,
Bloody smears,

You aren't alone.

Holding your hand,
Wiping your tears,
Tending to your wounds.

I'll be there.

Behind you, whenever you fall,
Beside you, whenever you need support,
Within you, whenever your smile is amiss.

I shall always be there.

It's not a favour,
It ain't a debt,
It's just a part who I am,

Hauntingly opaque,
Mysteriously dark,
Undauntedly loyal,

I am your shadow.