Monday, December 24, 2012

The Chronicles of Straight Hair

Tears stream down my eyes whenever I narrate this incident. Tears of laughter I'd like to add. :D
I'm amazed that I have never gotten around to sharing this story on my dear blog. Ah, well. Everything has it's own time and maybe my reason for stumbling across Indiblogger's newest event was to share this hilarious story.

Yes! It's a true one. Reiterating, because I'm sure half of you wouldn't believe me, even if you tried.

Rewind. Rewind back to grade 9.
Almost nine years ago. (Wow, I'm getting old..) So life back then was pretty simple for us as compared to the ninth graders now. All we cared for was completing the damned homework and going out and rolling in the mud and playing pithoo. Me and Shreya - my BFF played day in and day out and couldn't care if we had tanned seven shades darker than our original skin tone.

Enter Priya* (I am changing her name, because I do not want to be killed) Priya was the ultimate chic, sexy, make up loving teen. She was two years younger to her but far more knowledgeable in all the worldly affairs of boyfriends, make up and *drumrolls* sex. (Later I realised - all she knew was the guy "goes" into the girl and that's sex..but well, our childhood innocence made her Lolita for us.) She belonged to a royal lineage, had shifted to Delhi just few months ago and was charming every little boy's heart through her mini skirts. She lived in the same building as Shreya and I and it didn't take us long to realise that despite her crazy ways, she had a heart of gold. We quickly became the trio everyone envied. We were the Dil Chahta Hai of our little colony.

Fast Forward to grade 10. 
Shreya and I were battling the "Boards" blue and were trying to mug up everything that we could lay our eyes on, in order to excel. Our trio-thalons were becoming rare and Priya was getting upset over the lack of together-play-times. So one day, she phoned both of us and announced - "You guys NEED to come over. I have to go to a party and I need to straighten my hair." I was like.. "what do you even mean by "straighten" your hair? You aren't an actress that you have a make up man and they do all sorts of hairstyles for each party you attend!" Priya then informed us that she had read a brilliant idea somewhere and wanted to try it out. We hung up.. and in a jiffy were at her door, curiosity getting the better of us.

She ushered us into her room, where the only thing we could see was an iron all plugged in and steaming. Shreya also pointed out her crumpled clothes and boy did I get angry. I started screaming at Priya. "Is this some sort of a joke? You called us so that we could iron your clothes? Are you kidding me Priya?" She asked me to shut up and firmly shut the door of the room. I was impatiently waiting to be told what the heck was I supposed to do.
She walked in to the bathroom, dampened her hair and came out with a towel in hand. I whispered to Shreya - "Priya is losing her mind". She spread the towel on the bed, spread her hair in a Japanese hand fan fashion on it and knelt down on the floor. Her instructions started to fly around.

P: Take the iron, A. Hold it in your hand. And you, S, you hold my hair down.
A (Me): Iron what? Hold it where? What are we upto?
S: Ughh I am not putting my hands in your hair!
A: Okay. Holding the iron. Now what?
S: Iron clothes, I suppose.
P: Can you girls shut up? A. Take the iron and just iron my hair like you iron your precious red tee.
S: P, your hair will get all burnt. Where do you read such stuff?
A: Are you sure?
P: A hundred percent. It works. I read reader's views too. Everyone said it worked.
A: Um.. as you say.

So I took the iron and plopped it on her hair and started moving it up and down. The length of her hair was not too long, and the iron covered it all. The water from her hair was steaming its way to my glasses and in a matter of 60 seconds I couldn't see anything. Shreya kept on saying something is smelling strongly of being burnt and Priya kept on reassuring us that it must be her Bengali neighbour cooking her fish curry. So after three minutes of blind ironing, protests and reassurances.. Priya ordered us to stop.

I lifted the iron to see our masterpiece. The next second Priya's hand was in her hair.. and we all started to scream. Let's just say her hair wasn't on her crown anymore.. but on the iron. All HER hair were burnt away and she had little shriveled up ends which were stinking with the smell of burnt plastic. She screamed and cried and I was just stunned and shocked. Shreya started to pacify her - I was just too frozen to even muster up an expression.
Hearing all of us scream and shout.. Her mother banged the door open and came in. It took her a minute to grasp the whole situation.. and when she did, she started laughing. She laughed and laughed and sat down on the floor because she couldn't stand anymore. Seeing her laugh, Shreya began to laugh.. and so did Priya. Seeing them all laugh, I started to roll too. We pointed, gasped for breath and recollected the story for her mother. After the crazy bout had died down, I finally asked. I asked her, "Aunty, why were you laughing? Weren't you mad at all of us?" She took me and Shreya to her room after drawing Priya a nice long bath. She told us that when she was Priya's age, she tried the same trick too and ended up with a nice chunk of hair missing for months. That is why she was laughing like a maniac. She saw herself in her crazy daughter and it just cracked her up!

Priya's mother's hairdresser finally found a way to salvage the damage and gave her a cute bob cut. The burnt edges were only noticeable to the eyes who had witnessed the horror. Priya made us take an oath never to tell a single soul about this.. and even to this day we laugh our lungs out when we recollect this story!

Priya has a hair straighter now.. She uses it everyday. As they say, old habits die hard and her passion for straight hair cannot be "dampened" by anything! :D

This post is submitted as a part of  'The Straight Hair Experiment' by Sunsilk in association with

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