Till When..?

That's the question which haunts my sleep and makes me gasp whenever I read yet another piece of information about yet another rape, molestation, eve teasing case in my country.

I beg your forgiveness even before I say this. Every hour three women are raped in our country. Gang raped, marital rape, minor rape.. You name it, we got it. We protest for a bit, ofcourse - none of the protests were this large scale and it just dies down. What happens after some months? Everything is forgotten, nobody cares anymore, some odd newspaper tries reviving the story for the lack of another story to cover the allotted columns and slowly but steadily it dies down, like it never happened.

Why did you wake up so late? Dear countrymen - Why? And when you have finally woken up, will you just douse the uproar when you're bored? When you have to worry more about your electricity bills than the false promises of change you made to yourself?
I'm getting half sick of all these protests. Because a part of me knows that it will just die a sudden shameful death, and yet again the ministers will clank glasses brimming with white wine and cheer each other for fooling the short sighted Indian citizens.

I'd love the protests. I'd bring food and water for everyone trying to make a change. I'd kiss your feet and worship your statues if and only if you care to continue this uproar. Promise me, fellow Indians, that this fire wont die the death of a poor man's embers but will roar on like the Amar Jawaan Jyoti,and everytime someone did something heinous, this fire will engulf and wreck the savage beast.

Would you care to do that?

The Chronicles of Straight Hair

Tears stream down my eyes whenever I narrate this incident. Tears of laughter I'd like to add. :D
I'm amazed that I have never gotten around to sharing this story on my dear blog. Ah, well. Everything has it's own time and maybe my reason for stumbling across Indiblogger's newest event was to share this hilarious story.

Yes! It's a true one. Reiterating, because I'm sure half of you wouldn't believe me, even if you tried.

Rewind. Rewind back to grade 9. Almost nine years ago. (Wow, I'm getting old..) So life back then was pretty simple for us as compared to the ninth graders now. All we cared for was completing the damned homework and going out and rolling in the mud and playing pithoo. Me and Shreya - my BFF played day in and day out and couldn't care if we had tanned seven shades darker than our original skin tone.

Enter Priya* (I am changing her name, because I do not want to be killed) Priya was the ultimate chic, sexy, make up loving teen. She was two years younger to her but far more knowledgeable in all the worldly affairs of boyfriends, make up and *drumrolls* sex. (Later I realised - all she knew was the guy "goes" into the girl and that's sex..but well, our childhood innocence made her Lolita for us.) She belonged to a royal lineage, had shifted to Delhi just few months ago and was charming every little boy's heart through her mini skirts. She lived in the same building as Shreya and I and it didn't take us long to realise that despite her crazy ways, she had a heart of gold. We quickly became the trio everyone envied. We were the Dil Chahta Hai of our little colony.

Fast Forward to grade 10. 
Shreya and I were battling the "Boards" blue and were trying to mug up everything that we could lay our eyes on, in order to excel. Our trio-thalons were becoming rare and Priya was getting upset over the lack of together-play-times. So one day, she phoned both of us and announced - "You guys NEED to come over. I have to go to a party and I need to straighten my hair." I was like.. "what do you even mean by "straighten" your hair? You aren't an actress that you have a make up man and they do all sorts of hairstyles for each party you attend!" Priya then informed us that she had read a brilliant idea somewhere and wanted to try it out. We hung up.. and in a jiffy were at her door, curiosity getting the better of us.

She ushered us into her room, where the only thing we could see was an iron all plugged in and steaming. Shreya also pointed out her crumpled clothes and boy did I get angry. I started screaming at Priya. "Is this some sort of a joke? You called us so that we could iron your clothes? Are you kidding me Priya?" She asked me to shut up and firmly shut the door of the room. I was impatiently waiting to be told what the heck was I supposed to do.
She walked in to the bathroom, dampened her hair and came out with a towel in hand. I whispered to Shreya - "Priya is losing her mind". She spread the towel on the bed, spread her hair in a Japanese hand fan fashion on it and knelt down on the floor. Her instructions started to fly around.

P: Take the iron, A. Hold it in your hand. And you, S, you hold my hair down.
A (Me): Iron what? Hold it where? What are we upto?
S: Ughh I am not putting my hands in your hair!
P: JUST DO AS I SAYYYYY.
A: Okay. Holding the iron. Now what?
S: Iron clothes, I suppose.
P: Can you girls shut up? A. Take the iron and just iron my hair like you iron your precious red tee.
A: WHAA? IRON YOUR HAIR? WHAT?
S: P, your hair will get all burnt. Where do you read such stuff? Deathwishes.com?
A: Are you sure?
P: A hundred percent. It works. I read reader's views too. Everyone said it worked.
A: Um.. as you say.

So I took the iron and plopped it on her hair and started moving it up and down. The length of her hair was not too long, and the iron covered it all. The water from her hair was steaming its way to my glasses and in a matter of 60 seconds I couldn't see anything. Shreya kept on saying something is smelling strongly of being burnt and Priya kept on reassuring us that it must be her Bengali neighbour cooking her fish curry. So after three minutes of blind ironing, protests and reassurances.. Priya ordered us to stop.

I lifted the iron to see our masterpiece. The next second Priya's hand was in her hair.. and we all started to scream. Let's just say her hair wasn't on her crown anymore.. but on the iron. All HER hair were burnt away and she had little shriveled up ends which were stinking with the smell of burnt plastic. She screamed and cried and I was just stunned and shocked. Shreya started to pacify her - I was just too frozen to even muster up an expression.
Hearing all of us scream and shout.. Her mother banged the door open and came in. It took her a minute to grasp the whole situation.. and when she did, she started laughing. She laughed and laughed and sat down on the floor because she couldn't stand anymore. Seeing her laugh, Shreya began to laugh.. and so did Priya. Seeing them all laugh, I started to roll too. We pointed, gasped for breath and recollected the story for her mother. After the crazy bout had died down, I finally asked. I asked her, "Aunty, why were you laughing? Weren't you mad at all of us?" She took me and Shreya to her room after drawing Priya a nice long bath. She told us that when she was Priya's age, she tried the same trick too and ended up with a nice chunk of hair missing for months. That is why she was laughing like a maniac. She saw herself in her crazy daughter and it just cracked her up!

Priya's mother's hairdresser finally found a way to salvage the damage and gave her a cute bob cut. The burnt edges were only noticeable to the eyes who had witnessed the horror. Priya made us take an oath never to tell a single soul about this.. and even to this day we laugh our lungs out when we recollect this story!

Priya has a hair straighter now.. She uses it everyday. As they say, old habits die hard and her passion for straight hair cannot be "dampened" by anything! :D


This post is submitted as a part of  'The Straight Hair Experiment' by Sunsilk in association with Indiblogger.in

Finally it's December

Perhaps for the first time in my life I actually saw the last month of the year approaching. Every year it used to be the same whirr of events.
Birthday - Holi - Exams - Holidays - New Academic Year - Trying to figure out what the hell did I put myself into - Diwali - More birthdays in the family - Lo and behold! December has already arrived.
I used to wonder all the time, WHAT? HOW? December already?

This year life has been different. Very very different. I don't think I have done anything commendable since March. Anything worthwhile.. or for that matter, anything. I moved to another continent and wallowing in self pity and frustration was my only agenda. Things have always happened as I expected them to, albeit in my favour or not. I knew when something would go drastically wrong or when a rainbow was around the corner. Not this year. It's like the scare of the world ending as predicted has metaphorically ended my intuition and upper hand over life's events. I used to be the one carving the path for life to follow..and now life is getting it's due revenge. The moment I feel I have found the babbling brook that will satiate my worries.. life decides that the brook needs to convert into the Niagara falls. Beautiful to only who watches from afar. Not to someone trying to be afloat in the giant, never ending pool of water.

I am almost 22. To some it will be a cause of jealousy.. That I am young and have so much time ahead of me to achieve what I fancy. To 10 year olds I will be the "older" woman. For my parents.. I will always remain their little firstborn. Me? For me.. I am just bewildered. I haven't achieved what I wanted to by the time I was 22. I am hurt, angry and need some answers from life.

Hello Life,
This isn't what we had bargained for! You said suffer, kick and fight but most of the times silently suffer till the first two decades of my life. You gave me material comforts and took away my emotional cushion. I accepted it..because we had a deal. Why are you cheating on me now? Why are you retreating? Why do you show me new lows every single day? Why have you made me a prisoner of my commitments and love? I accepted my duties, my responsibilities in return for mental peace.. Why are you being so unfair? Oh, you wouldn't answer. You're a coward yourself. Keep darting around whenever I seek you. But I must warn you, you wont get that far.

I'm on a spiraling deterioration. It's like the downward fall doesn't want to end. There isn't an ounce of optimism that I have left in me. Hell yes, it's shameful. But it's the stinking truth. I'm reducing into the coward whom I always spit on. Maybe it's life's way of taming my arrogance. My ignorance of the fact that life can be in charge..and how. People with no morale, no humanity and mostly, no brains have everything they ever hoped for. I almost feel angry at everyone who made me feel I was smart, intelligent, mature, and born to be someone successful. Something different. Because after 21 years of my life.. I realise what a scam it all was. The worst prank to be pulled on anyone. Mine lasted for 21 DAMN years. A big applause to whoever participated.. I was actually fooled.

I feel I have lived my entire life again in this past year. All my bad karma found me and bit me in every way possible. A part of me is excited to embrace December.. a part of me dreads being the witness and the victim of another year of torture. Another year of suffering in silence. The moment you think it's over.. That's the moment it starts all over again, with a new low to achieve. And, mind you.. life gets very competitive. If it wants to win, it will.  You can only sit back and let it trample you. Or be bruised trying to put up a fight.

Fairy garden!

I wish life was also so cute! Like a fairy garden :)

Change is the only Constant!

How true that statement is! We've always experienced gradual changes which we incorporate into our lifestyle slowly and steadily. Maybe a change of residence, job.. hairstyle. These are changes which don't really affect us as a person, our tastes, our likings etc.

And then there are changes which make you sit up and think.. Whoa. An year ago I was an entirely different person, and it's unfunny how the you from a year back is a stark contrast from you now. When it's in the positive direction.. it's must be exhilarating to feel the change pulse through.. But if it's something which can be just described as plummeting down the drain.. then trust me, it's not one bit nice to feel that way.

I sit back and just keep wondering (because that's the only thing left to do now) how and where and exactly why I am in this position. I was this funny, surrounded by friends social animal who was doing some good to herself by graduating from the best place possible in the country.. I was in a new, blossoming relationship with my best friend, I lived comfortably in the capital city of the country and was, like always, high on all the goodness that life had to offer. I believed everyone who said I was meant to shine in life and that positive motivation fueled my cheery nature which was infectious. (or so it was said) No, it wasn't picture perfect.. There were many things which I wanted to break away from, but then, hey! Even Bill Gates wouldn't be hundred percent satisfied with his life, the world!

Exactly an year later. I can't recognise myself. I've changed so much that even if I try to reach out to the old me, she shirks me off with a nasty look. My life has reduced from an inflated hot air balloon to a piece of rubber trying to pass off as something useful. I've become so distant from myself that I just feel at a loss of words when someone asks me, what's wrong with you? What happened? I've become this person who is scared of talking to people, takes insults from just about anyone and is so low on confidence that if someone says something mean or rude or hurts me in some manner.. I start believing it's my fault and blame myself. In my efforts to try to please everyone.. I can't remember things which used to please me. I want to run away, hide myself and apologise to the whole world for my existense. It's not pitiful, it's just shameful. Hideously shameful. I stress myself out so much that I lose tufts of hair everyday. The 'relationship' I was in..I still don't know what happened to it. I never knew I was such a bitch that anything or everything that I did was just out-rightly wrong. I just push my feelings inside and grin and act happy. Because things that actually make me happy, are not acceptable in this world anymore. My eyes sting on a regular basis from crying out of helplessness, frustration and every time I bat my eyelids, it pains. 

I've been brought up to believe that it's just me who will support me throughout my life. Hence having a career of your own, being financially independent is a very important thing. Everyone around me always thought of me as the brightest kid in the family..and the one who would make it happen. Till now, I always somehow managed to have that determination and used to make things happen. Simply because I had to. I've lost that zeal somewhere in the process of shifting my life from one continent to another.. I cringe at the idea of making friends, I barely talk to anyone and my laptop is my new best friend. Everyone around me is doing so well in their lives.. I feel happy for them, real glad to see them achieve all that they hoped for.. whereas the high point in my day is eating Oreo biscuits and licking off the cream. I've gained pounds and pounds munching on comfort food and trying to make myself happy.. but it doesn't help. It just makes you fat and horrible to look at. Smiling feels like a crime and being happy is a distant dream which I am striving, begging to achieve. My skin has lost it's sheen, I've lost the will to dress up or buy things to make myself look good.. I feel like I've aged decades in a few months. I feel like a shrivelled, old mind waiting to disintegrate and die. That's the countdown in my head now. The heavy curtain of sadness is draping over every patch of happy sunlight and the sadness is just gnawing through me, rendering my senses hollow..

I want to love myself again. I want to stand up for what I feel and believe and not not pull back if someone questions my happiness. I want to be that girl again. I don't know if I am ever gonna see that person.. It's like she died long ago and I am just dragging her memory, trying to keep her alive..

Flowers, Flowers Everywhere..

I had to order a bunch of flowers for someone today, and boy it's such a tedious task! There are so many of them to choose from, and they are all so beautiful in their own way, that it makes me pull out my hair. I was transported back to 5th grade, when I first 'discovered' the local florist, and used to pass by his little make shift shop and admire those beautiful things almost everyday..

Lilies and tulips weren't so commonplace as they are nowadays, and the 'exotic' flowers used to be Orchids. *My favourite* Those bell shaped beauties always manage to take my breath away.

Searching through my memory database, the moment you search for blooms, my school pops up like a synonym. Out of the million amazing things about my school, one of them was our well manicured lawn. The school used to bag atleast half a dozen prizes in the annual flower show held in the city. You name it, and the gardener had it in his prized workplace. Dahlias, dogflowers, chrysanthemums,  roses, daisies and god alone knows the name of all the other varieties. One could totally relive what Wordsworth must have felt when he penned down his ever famous 'Daffodils'.

My favourite verse:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.'

 As much as I love flowers, I am yet to find someone who fulfills this crazy need of mine. Someone who presents me these little joys. I am so besotted, that every 'happy' dream of mine somehow manages to squeeze in these little blossoms somewhere. Although, I would credit that one man in every girl's life, who always treats her like a princess. In his own clumsy ways. :D

I used to always receive a bunch of orchids on my birthday, sharp 6:30 in the morning, from my dad. He never remembered the name, so he used to just point them out to the florist and get them delivered the next day. Simple sweet gestures. One of my favourite parts of the big day. :)

My entire life is interconnected with flowers it seems.. I had this crazy hobby. I used to save every flower that I received, (or gave out to my parents ;) ) and use them in cards or just keep them for memories sake. So much so, that for an entire year, I made cards for everyone I knew with those flowers and still had a good box full of them left. I used to have wildflowers (don't they have a different appeal to them?), leaves, buds, exotic ones, even a lily or two, and of course a section full of blue orchids. Those, I never gave out. I made bookmarks, cards, coasters, little stationery notes, god alone knows what all with those little darlings.

LOOK AT THIS. I want to run through this like a carefree five year old, who feels it's the right thing to do and that she wouldn't be spoiling or hurting anything by doing so.

I am not a big fan of getting married, (pretty much commitment phobic and a big pessimist) but I always dream of doing the flower decor myself. *wide grin* 

It changes everyday, but always is something superbly awesome than the last one. I dream of a loose-wildflowers-themed decor, or an elegant updo with lilies, or an outdoorsy feel with creepers. I think I'll unleash all these when my sister gets married. I'll anyway be in charge, wont be the unfortunate bride, and OOOH. Flowers.

Oh, and ofcourse. One day I want to have my own little garden which I can be proud of. I will tend to each little seedling as if it were my own offspring. A beautiful place to sit, read, chat up or just gaze at the stars and the butterflies.. :)

P.S. I hate roses. Especially red ones. So cliche and BLAH. :/

We Part, Only to Meet Again.

Just deactivated my Facebook account. It's the weirdest feeling ever. It's like breaking up with  your really long term boyfriend. It took me almost 40 minutes to push myself through the procedure. Yea, that bad.

Why wouldn't it be? I just realised that I've been on Facebook since 2008. Boy, that is a lot of times. And almost logged in everyday, barring those four five times, where I was in an obscure village, or my net was screwing us, or the curfew, exams (nah!) etc.

Nope. I was not really an addict. There were always those two-three days in a month, when I wouldn't just log in. I would come online, do random things, but not log in.. So, there, feels good to say it. I was NOT an addict :)

As the post title is self explanatory, I will go back. I just don't know when. To add, I hope that this 'when' comes as late as possible. It will be just stupid if I don't go back. It's the easiest way to keep in touch perfectly with everyone I've ever known. Ofcourse, I don't talk to even 10% of my friend list on a daily basis, but it's a good way to know who is upto what, and where!

Stalker much? ;)

I got off the big rat race simply because of one brilliant realization. It all started a few months ago, when my eccentric best friend just deactivated hers. I panicked, called her up, and asked her, 'DUDE, WHAT HAPPENED? I CANNOT TAG YOU!! WHERE ARE YOU, ,COME BACK!!' I was so hysterical that I almost didn't hear her gasping for breath in between her laughter bouts. I was livid. I asked her calmly this time.. 'Why did you go off? Did something happen? Did your boyfriend say something?' I begged her to return and told her that she would come back sooner. (no later). She laughed and said just one word. 'No'. I was quiet. Stunned. At the valiant display of courage. I knew better than to speak up. She then started with her side of the conversation. She told me that, everyday she logs in, with nothing better to do. She scrolls through the various updates, sees pictures, statuses, check ins about everyone's achievements, small or big and feels bad for herself. She sees pictures of fellow mates who are doing everything that they wanted to, and she lacks in her fulfillment of the dreams, in some trivial manner. She logs in, and realises how her guy had the time to play Mafia Wars or fight over someone's status for an hour, but hung up on her because he was 'busy'. And how all this keeps on piling up and start hurting in someway.

And isn't she a million percent correct? If you get off that train, the life at the train will just cease to exist. What you cannot see, will never bother you. What isn't out rightly told to you, isn't meant to be known by you! That is how god made it to be. And I'm trying to follow it.

Only people who do actually care to remember your birthdays will call or text. Not a horde of 'Party Hard Maann' or 'Wohooo! Get sloshed, dude' or the utterly abysmal 'HBD' on your wall. No more pictures of thinner-by-the-day pretty girls plastered all over your wall. No more feeling miserable over your boyfriend's weird priority disorders. No more check ins to places you've always wanted to visit. No more happy hoo-la-la updates from people who kicked you out of their lives, made you so sad that all you did was get fat, cry, eat fattening stuff, wipe tears, throw up, clean that shit to get over their friendship/love. No more of things which bother you. That makes me feel nice. When all you do is eat/sleep/study the whole day and stare at the laptop for company, and the high point of your day is your boyfriend's call, it's time to take charge and make yourself less miserable.

P.S. It's a nice way to know how many people stalk you.. They'll text you to know where did you go off to. ;) Ah Yes, maybe that cutie does too. ;)

P.P.S: And to people who call me weak willed and other things.. Do this for me and I'll bow to thee.

Deactivate your account for just ten days. If you do manage to deactivate, then let me know how many times you thought of logging back in in.

 If it's more than 50 for the entire ten day period..

Then, screw you. :)

Amor's Puppet

You walk past me,

The air impregnates your earthy smell,

Knocks me off my feet,

And, introduces me to my wobbly knees.

You discreetly hold my hand,

Draw circles with your thumb,

The grip is tighter than an elastic,

It makes me tremble,

Down right, till my bones.

You embrace me,

It’s like the whole world’s taking over,

I disintegrate faster than an ignited candle,

The feeling is akin,

To my soul being alight.

You spark upon a conversation,

Your  endearing voice infiltrates through me,

I swear, I do try,

But I hardly do ever understand,

The nuances of our discussions.

Since the day

My eyes met yours

My heart feels stronger,

With the pouring, over flowing love,

 But, It seems I’ve lost control over my senses

My body isn’t controlled by me

But is a puppet to your little gestures.

Need for a Need

It's a straightforward question, really. When you are in a relationship, and it's been long enough for you to feel comfortable with each other's mannerisms, behaviour, humour, and most importantly, know that you love each other, does the need to instill it everyday, diminish?

Is is just okay to stop saying those three magical words..? Because you know that it's there?

Call me clingy, or just brand me with the typical life saver, 'oh! she's a girl', but I feel the need to let the other person know that he is still as important and dear to me, as he was on the day we started dating. Especially when we are in a long distance relationship and I cannot really see his reassuring smile everyday. (Skype be damned. It's not the same, and you know it!) He tells me that it's really obvious and he doesn't see the need to repeat it, or tell it to me everyday, or even once in two or three days.. I get his point of view.. What's the need to keep discussing/talk about things which are already established, loud and clear?

I don't know. I am a very loving, and someone whose life's main aim is to pamper the other person, so subconsciously maybe I start expecting a little of that slobbery, stupid gestures. I make those cards, little cutie notes and stuff and gestures. So maybe, those expectations arise. But really, is expecting an I love you from your beloved a little too much to ask for? I really don't know. To top it all, now I've started feeling all clingy and weird when I say it and don't get a response, or do sweet things. I've started cringing away, or holding my words and emotions back, to not to make him feel suffocated or obligatory to reciprocate. Because that's not what I want. Him to reciprocate just because I forced him into it...

And, I really don't feel good about the holding back part.

Sucks and just SUCKS.

I wish he felt the same way that I did. Ahh. :|

Weirdness all around.

A Seedling's Teaching..

Random scribblings.. I imagined being a little seed buried under the soil.. :)

I poke my nose

Trembling, out of the soil

It’s a beautiful world

Shining and growing,

Spreading, beyond my sight.

I gear up,

Go on further and stand tall,

Because the world is my oyster

And I shall make myself count!

Mis-un-der-stand-ings

The Dictionary.com app in my iPod announces that the word which defines the human ability to screw up perfectly normal things has five syllables. Irony, I say. Till the time you decipher, differentiate and break the word into it's root syllables, you tend to be dazed, and lose all meaning, as to why in the first place did you even start off with it.

Isn't that the same feeling which creeps in when we label something as a huge misunderstanding?

There is nothing in this world more psyching out than a jumble of mindless irritating garble, phrased to irritate and confuse you and drape your thought process in a huge, heavy, opaque curtain.

For the past year, I've been trapped in this booby trap of misunderstandings, and damn, is it spoiling my relationships, eating into my productivity and slowly but steadily killing my happiness and self confidence. Misunderstandings are like slow poisons. When they touch you, you do feel the slight irritation, but being the supreme species that we are, we over look it. It starts spreading slowly, showing itself in its first stage avatar; coughs, seizures, unconsciousness. The devil then starts hatching from the egg, and thus begins the organ failures and helplessness, and the ultimate failure of death. Mind you, the death doesn't come easy. The devil grows to its monstrous size, shows off its ruthlessness in all its glory, before taking you down.

 They say, love conquers everything. But, what do you do when the amour goes haywire, and the very root of the relationship becomes its trap door. Whatever you say, becomes ugly and uglier and is misunderstood in every despicable manner ever. Sometimes, I am forced to sit back and think, is love the only and the sole reason that drives a relationship? Should one call it quits if nothing else works out? True, people survive relationships through all odds and this reason is shoddy to say the least, to part ways. But the everyday banter and cussing and hating is getting a little too much for me to handle.

I'm an ardent believer of the power of love and would do everything to make that love felt. But what does one do when the doors to every single path is blocked and shut firmly by the person whom you wanna reach out to?

 

They say, communication is the key to the problems. But, whenever we communicate, problems arise. Things are misunderstood, underplayed or overplayed to such extent that one starts questioning his/her own existence. If I maintain distance, that is problematic, if I hang around, that is unacceptable too. My explanations and reasoning are never given a higher status than that of being pushed down the little choked drain.

Someday, in all my exasperation, I will pull out every hair of mine. Till then, I'll wait, run around the circles and the carefully chalked out trap of misunderstandings and jump and jive through it. The day I stumble, is the day of bloodshed, and the automatic, unannounced loss of the race. The race against oneself. 

Lose-Lose Situation, they say.

Top 25 Places To Eat in Delhi

So one evening, Tushar texted me that he needs to do an article on the top restaurants in Delhi for our college magazine. A skype discussion turned into a full blown 6 page long article.
We couldn't resist, you see.

Enjoy :)

The Big Chill Café

Where? Khan Market, DLF Place Saket and Kailash Colony Market

Not that a true Delhiite (or anyone who knows about the existence of Delhi) needs to be told about Big Chill, but for those who do not know for some reason- GO THERE ASAP! A to-die-for shake, a huge portion of pasta and a scrumptious dessert (Mississippi Mudpie FTW)- one definitive meal that’ll get you hooked for life. Adorned with posters of Classic Hollywood flicks and vintage product commercials, there’s not a single dull moment in Big Chill. A meal for two will set you back 1500 bucks, but that’s 1500 bucks spent very very well!

Legends of India

Where? Connaught Place

Picture this- India’s best street food chefs flown into the heart of Delhi, cooking their regional specialties and you get Legends Of India. Some exotic sounding kabab, a frivolous little mutton gravy, a puffy, unheard of naan and a silky phirni- by the time you devour all this deliciousness, you have a very overwhelmed stomach and a very empty pocket. A meal for two in Legends Of India will cost you about 1500 bucks, but then again, its one of those places where you ask your friends to treat you on birthday ;)

Fujiya

Where? Malcha Marg Market, Chanakyapuri

Not too authentic, not too Punjabi- Fujiya is the perfect kind of chinese. Huge portions, good crowd and friendly servers- Fujiya is the place to go to with your family. Do not forget to order their wontons.. they serve these crisp, warm and light delights in a big basket, enough to fill you up for an entire week. With an average of about Rs. 800 for 2 people, Fujiya is the place to be next Sunday with the family.

Veda

Where? Outer Circle, Connaught Place

Gaudy, overdone, extravagant and uptight- that’s what Veda is. Amidst all the local eateries and street shopping CP, Veda is a high-class, amuse bouche serving, Rohit Bal designed restaurant, that serves some pretty good food. Its completely candle lit and you see more chandeliers and crystals than people. With uptight staff and melt-in-your-mouth chicken tikka, Veda forces you to ditch Sula and try Pinot Noir. Dress in your Sunday best and take a glimpse into the life of a Page 3 celebrity. A rather pricey indulgence, Veda will cost you about Rs. 1500 for a meal for two.

Café WTF

Where? Defence Colony Market

11 am and rest of the day’s lectures got cancelled? Hit the road or board the metro and go to Café WTF in Defence Colony. It has absolute rubbish on the walls and an eclectic mix of food. But the best part about the café are board games. And lots of them. You can spend hours, drinking beer and playing Jenga, Ludo, Scrabble or Life. Delhi University crowd ensures lots of young energy in the air. Hours of casual time-pass and delicious food will cost you no more than Rs. 1500 for a group of four.

Fio Country Kitchen and Bar

Where? Garden of Five Senses, Saidulajab, Saket

Fio in Garden of Five Senses is complete with beautiful outdoor seating and perfect music. Excellent food, an eclectic selection of drinks and a guaranteed-burn-a-hole-in-your-pocket-bill, this is one place you go to appreciate the beauty of the ambience. A meal for two will cost you around Rs. 2500.

Sizzlers

Where? Defence Colony Market, Cross Points in Gurgaon

The minute you open the gate to Sizzlers by Moets, all you’ll see is smoke and all you’ll smell will be delicious. But fear not, step right in and get yourself a table. Get their fresh and garlic-butter smeared bread. Choose from their very confusing Sizzler options and wait. Want to know what will power and self control are all about? Go to Sizzlers and find out. A delicious but piping hot sizzler will sit in front of you and you’ll have to wait for it to cool down. Don’t want to wait? Dig right in. You’ll have a burnt tongue and all that, but the saffron rice and fries will straight away put you into a coma anyway. At about Rs. 300 a sizzler, Sizzlers by Moet’s gives you your money’s worth.

It’s Greek to Me.

Where? Green Park

Looking for a place to serenade your beloved? Fed up of the Punjabi-Chinese-Italian routine? Want to reminiscence the Mediterranean feel from your EuroTrip? It’s Greek to Me is your answer. The hospitality, warmth of the staff will pull you back to the place at any given time. The restaurant has two floors, one modeled as a by-the-sparkling-sea café, and the other a more cosy, dimly lit lounge, complete with dig in couches. The authenticity is brilliant, and the variety, mind boggling. It’s actually heart breaking to see the waiter clean up the last of your dishes. A meal for two shall cost you around 2000 bucks. But, what’s that for a hung-up-on-you look from your beloved, eh.

Wenger's

Wenger’s. If the name isn’t enough to send you into a drool frenzy, then shame on your knowledge of the city. Wenger’s is perhaps the oldest bakery in the city. It was started by a German couple, and was the posh place for the young and dashing to spend their evenings at. Wenger’s regains the old world charm of English baking and hosts the most delicious varieties of pastries, cakes, cookies, tarts, pizzas, breads, macaroons, sandwiches, chocolates..You name it and they have it. If you have given up on dieting, Wenger’s is the place to accumulate fat, the stylish and delicious way. Do try the chocolate ruffle cake and the Christmas cookies.

Andhra Bhawan

Where? Ashoka Road

Some rules to follow: Leave your fab diets at home. Shed the too-sophisticated-to-dig-my-fingers-in-the food image. Enter. Enter the world of Gunpowder and ghee, mutton fry and gonkura pickles. The unlimited helpings of rice and rasam, combined with the delightful south Indian hospitality is a match made in heaven. If you aren’t the daring variety, settle down for the tried and tested Idli and Dosas. The steam from the piping hot food there can put even the mightiest of steam engines to shame. It’s the place for home sick South Indians and the rest of us, who crave for authentic South Indian cuisine. It’s cheap, delicious, and different! A meal for four will cost you about 700 bucks. Oh, and brownie points for scoring a seat within ten minutes during the lunch hour!

Khan Chacha

Where? Connaught Place

From a hole in the wall, to a swanky two storey building, to a branch in the heart of Delhi, CP, Khan Chacha has come a long way, but has retained the grandeur of it’s humble roll. Since the building has come into the picture, the prices have shot up, but hey, we do have a place to sit and take in the goodness of Khan Chacha. The wooden floors, the viewable kitchen, reminds you of the simpler times that are long gone. The never ending photographs of Javed Bhai with actors, cricketers, even international footballers make you feel special, one of them. Khan Chacha outlets are the stuff which give the phrase, ‘you have to see it to believe it’ a new perspective altogether. A meal for two would cost you around 400 bucks.

Thadi

Where? Hauz Khaz Village

It’s shady entrance sends back a thousand prospective customers, and that’s what you should rejoice about. Thadi is the café all of us have been looking for, all our lives. Thadi was started by two frustrated engineering students, and the frustration comes out beautifully in the graffiti that adornes this roof top café. Hookah, low seating, great food, and nobody to kick you out for lazying around. Nestled in the beauty of the Hauz Khas village, over looking the vast expanse of lake and those little spot-me ducks, this place is a check on all the little quirky needs of us youngsters. It’s quiet atmosphere is home to budding entrepreneurs, musicians, artists and even singers. You can spot the next MF Hussain, I say. It’s a little expensive to fall under the daily outings, but good for monthly dates. Rs 900 for two, including the hookah.

Tip: Look for snapdeal vouchers for this place!

Zambar

Where? Ambience Mall, Gurgaon

Coconut Water Iced Tea. 4 words that summarize the entire Zambar experience. The Nelluri Mushrooms and Malabar ‘Parotta’ might haunt you in your dreams, but nothing really comes even close to the brilliance of the iced tea. A long walk all the way to the back of the food court, this lovely closed restaurant had tables designed like little ships. Get one of the window tables.. you get to see the Gurgaon skyscapers while hogging on these Coastal delights. A rough Rs. 2000 for a meal for 4, Zambar is a gem.

The Great Kabab Factory

Where? Various locations in Delhi

If you have to go to Kabab Factory next month, stop eating from today. Unlimited supply of kababs, unlimited supply of dal and sabzi and a selection of no less than 15 different desserts await you at The Great Kabab Factory. The non vegetarians can say that its pointless for the vegetarians to go there, but do NOT listen to them! The veg galouti kabab melts in your mouth, the sweet bread they serve with kababs smells so divine that it gives you goosebumps. The non vegetarians, of course, consider it heaven. Prices per head vary from branch to branch, but people would trade their children to eat at Kabab Factory, so money is basically insignificant.

Al Bake

Where? New Friends Colony

It’s Arabic, and not a fancy name for a bakery. It’s the joint which has the most number of infringement cases after the never ending Aggarwal Sweets. Yet, nobody can ever copy more than the name. The mouth watering Shawarma is, was and shall forever be Al Bake’s forte in Delhi. The jostling and over enthusiastic crowd and the "khat-khat" of the lamb and chicken being minced instantly pulls you in. The greasy mayo, the elbow to elbow fight for space, the barely there cleanliness is all forgotten with the first bite of the beautiful Shawarma. It’s a must visit for all you non vegetarians out there. A meal for two shall set you back by Rs 300.

Rajdhani

Where? Various Locations throughout the city

Rajdhani is the closest to sampling authentic Rajasthani cuisine in the capital. The mouth watering Gatte ki Sabzi, Moong Dal ka Halwa and the Daal Baati Churma would make you want to take the next flight to the desert land. The best part? It’s heaven for indecisive people. They have a fixed menu, with the Rajasthani thaali, which showcases every inch of Rajasthan on a copper platter. The ambience is perfect for that long due family dinner, with darbans greeting you at the door, attendants attending to you, the royal style. The secret that I will lead you on to? The second, third, fourth.. nineteenth, all helpings are free! A thali costs a little more than Rs 250, including taxes.

Hard Rock Café

Where? DLF Place, Saket

We’re not saying that the food at HRC is bad, but if you’re going to The HRC, you go there for the experience. You go there to see what the buzz and hype are about. You order a beer, order some chicken wings and have a good time. Also, before going there, you save up money for a while because those are 2000 bucks (for two people) you will never see again.

Nagpal/ Sitaram

Where? Nagpal: Amar Colony, Lajpat Nagar/ Sitaram: Paharganj and Pitampura

After a long and heated argument about the best Choley Bhature joint in Delhi, we finally settled with a tie between Nagpal and Sitaram. What’s better? The onion-smeared aloo ki sabzi with choley with paneer stuffed bhaturey at Sitaram or ‘it’s 11 AM, and they are gone’ spicy affair at Nagpal’s? Having grown up on both of them, it’s a choice only the devil can make. Sample them, and join in our dilemma. Rs 50 a plate.

Saravana Bhawan

Where? Janpath

The wait to find a place to rest your derrière is the real deal that the place offers. It’s a two storied, deep into the building restaurant, and even at four in the evening on a busy working day, you cannot find a place. Blame it on the population, you say. I beg to differ. Saravana Bhawan, a unit of Andhra Bhawan (Go ahead, call us partial) has the magic. It offers you the South Indian delicacies with panache. Want to impress your ‘phorener’ friends? Ditch the Khan Market routine, and head to Saravana Bhawan. Not into South Indian? Go in, have the fresh smoothies and shakes. Or sample the luscious in house brand of ice cream. Fig ice-cream. A must. It’s fancier than Andhra Bhawan, so a meal for four will cost you around 1200 bucks.

UPSC Ki Chaat

Where? Shah Jahan Road

Rumour has it, that the owner of this humble chaat shop has a bungalow in GK and drives around a Merc. Why not, we want to ask. According to us, this guy is the last word in the Chaat business. Which, by the way, is more serious than the next upcoming economic crisis. The Aloo Tikki or the Papri Chaat? The crisp, perfectly done underground wonders or the papri doused in painstakingly whipped yoghurt with the lip smacking sonth dancing on the top? We say, both. UPSC’s Chaat should be given a high honour status and should be replaced with your lunch for the day. Babu Sahebs in the overshadowing building next door would all burp in agreement. Rs 80 per person for the aforesaid ‘lunch’.

One Café/ One Boulevard

Where? Select Citywalk, Saket

A casual, laid back café with terrible service but decent food and good hookah. One might think its just another café, but wait till you go for one of their karaoke nights. The entire place is filled with South Delhi kids, jamming to the tunes of Bollywood movies and International hits. It’s a rare sight to find Karaoke nights in Delhi and this is one you mustn’t miss. You’ll shell out about a thousand bucks for 2 people, and your voice, of course, from all the singing!

Tip: Use your TAF Cards/ DU Discount Cards here and avail upto 20% off!

Nathu’s in Bengali Market

I think we can all establish that almost all of us have had that moment where you cross Bengali Market enroute to somewhere and everyone in the car agreed upon stopping for a quick plate of gol gappe, a papri chaat here, crisp aloo chat there, asking the younger sibling to run and get some kulfi and then continued with your journey. It’s a real disappointment when you don’t see the bhaiya with the really big moustache, but the food compensates for that. Home to Mahi from Mahi Way, us Delhiites have been asking for extra pani after finishing gol gappe long before her. A family of 4 can eat it’s heart out in less than Rs. 200.

Chicago Pizza

Where? Various outlets throughout Delhi

From a slice of classic cheese to something as crazy as a pizza with pineapples- Chicago Pizza serves big slices of delectable pizza. A slice of pizza is a meal in itself. Also, Friends fanatics can feel like Joey and gorge on these humungous slices. The Chicago’s Monster Fizz is a must have. At Rs. 75 a slice, Chicago Pizza keeps you coming back for more.

Tip: Use your TAF Cards/ DU Discount Cards here and avail upto 20% off!

United Coffee House

Where? Inner Circle, Connaught Place

If you want to revisit the 90s, United Coffee House is the place to go to. Its almost as if time stopped in this 2-storied restaurant in CP. From a cup of coffee to a full course meal, from Samosas to risottos- UCH has it all. Polite and experienced servers and simple, yet lip smacking food ensure a very quite and peaceful time. A meal for two costs about Rs. 1000.

Giani's

Where? The original Giani di Hatti at Chandni Chowk, New Parlours at various locations throughout the city.

“As long as Delhiites have a sweet tooth, no downturn can affect us.” Says the owner of Giani’s. Even statistics couldn’t have been more precise. The original Giani’s is the stuff our fathers’ pot bellies are made of. The Kulfi Faluda there, sells like hot cakes. Gelato ice-cream, you whimper. Taste the kulfi and the whimpers shall die down. The rich creamy texture of the kulfi, combined with smooth, almost divine faluda, and the sprinkles of dry fruits is a delight superior than Katrina in Sheila Ki Jawaani. The new parlours can give any of the MNC brands a run for their money. Clean, minimalistic décor, and a drool worthy array of ice creams can give you sleepless nights for a month in a row. That comes from personal experience. What’s more? You can create your own personalized sundaes and combinations. Perfect for a cute, light-on-the-pocket ice-cream date. It’s Rs 45 for the heaven sent Kulfi, and Rs 50 – Rs 200 for the ice creams at the parlours.

Falling Apart

I'm a lost soul. The desperately trying to find a foothold variety, I shall like to add. The afterthought is a recent addition!

What, you say?

Let's do a recap.

I was always a lost soul. I never bothered what the world thinks of me, because I was having fun. Sheer unadulterated pure happiness. I grew up with that. I had my books, my dreams, my little corner of the world, and I was content.
Ah, ofcourse, I had friends, I did hang out with them, I did go to school and my grades bothered me as much as they do to you. (DAMN them. I would leave them for another day, because it's a touchy topic. Them grades... )

But all these things never interfered with my happy self. Simply because I never let these things rule my life. Being socially accepted, portraying the 'nice girl' image and all the jazz.

That was the first 18-19 years of my life.

Back to now:

Now, I have somehow managed to tangle myself into all the things that makes this world a badass place to survive in. That makes it unbearable. And even if you complete a whole day without being stressed to death, it's an achievement.

Nothing in my life has changed drastically, but the small changes have a real bad combined effect. After an year/and a half of falling deeper and deeper into the pit that everyone calls as hardships of life, I feel so small.
So uneducated and so..

Stupid.

It's like the opposite. Everyone grows wiser and calm-er, and I am more harrowed and my life is a bigger mess than it ever was. I have lost all sense of direction, sensibility, and self respect.
I do anything and everything that anyone wants me to, and trust me when I say this, because I want to believe it myself as well, I was never like this. I was in control of who I was and what I wanted from life.
My goals, for the long run were perfectly chalked out. More like, etched in stone. I always believed that it was permanent. I wanted it to be. But then you realise that even the harmless water, when poured persistently over the stone, can wipe away it's glory. In my case, my goals.

I am more lost than ever, and this time it's not in my little corner of the world, with the familiar comforting noises and surroundings. I feel like a lost 5 year old, clutching her rag doll tightly, for it is the only remainder of her happy, carefree life and desperately looking for her mom and all the warmth and happiness that she brings with her.

I want the ladder that would take me back to where I was. I can face everything, if I have that strong faith in myself.
Only, I don't know where to start looking for it..

I need the strength to look for all the pieces that I have shredded myself into. Pick them up. Piece them together.

Most importantly, Trust and Believe myself.