Sunday, July 5, 2009

Just My Imagination




Jovial
Unhibited
Staunch
Terrifying yet


Mellow
Yearning



Inside to be revealed
Meandering, seeking
All across the
Globe
Intelligent, yet
Naive
Alluring
There's nothing
It cannot create

Omniscient
Novas, my imagination.




Prompted @ Acrostic Only

14 comments:

Rajeev R said...

Must admire your imagination...It runs from being mellow, to being uninhibited, Staunch and Naive. Yeah, thats how we all are....not in black or white....but a shade of both; grey!


Loved the poem! Absolutely!

WELCOME TO MY WORLD OF POETRY: said...

Very good Miss Sunshine, made good reading.

Yvonne.

Brosreview said...

Well done, you! Keep writing!!! Congrats again for completing 100 posts.

ScarletTd1ar1es said...

that was just about perfect.

roshwrites said...

Well written Miss Sunshine... I like the topic you chose :)
Writers always have big imaginations =D

Destiny's child... said...

nice imagination i must say...:)
n no, its not 'just my imagination'..it seems real enough...:)

dreamer said...

You have a really nice imagination....enjoyed it.Keep writing and congrats on completion of your 100 posts!!

Miss Sunshine said...

@Rajeev
:D
that's so true. We're all gray :D

@Yvonne
Thanks :D

@Ajey
Welcome and thankyou :)

@Scarlet
:) NOthing's perfect, but I am obliged :) and I love your name :)

@Rosh
hahaha, it's a prompt :P
Big Imaginatiom ;)

@Destiny
That's the point..it's just a thin line btwn them :P

@Dreamer
Thanks :) and that was sweet :)

Amias said...

I especially like the beginning of this ... as a matter of fact it is wonderful, but the last line need a little tighten up.

I have read other acrostics you have written and you are doing well. Thank you so much for joining us.

Miss Sunshine said...

@Amias,
Could you please guide me? :)
I'd love to improve.. :D
and thank you so much :)

Amias said...

First of all remove the periods (.) and commas (,) from the end of each line. They are very distracting for such a good poem, and are not necessary. The reader will know where to end and begin.

Line 6: remove the “in”
Line 7: Try “Inside to be revealed”
Line 11 & 12 is the same. “Immature” and “Naïve” has just about the same meaning. The imagination is as innocent as a child, but it’s also very intelligent, because no one gives you an imagination, it comes with you from the birth canal, a gift from the Creator. Try …

“Intelligent, yet
Naïve”


Line 14 --- your imagination does not have to comprehend, it creates. It's up to others to comprehend what it creates. Try,

“It cannot create”

Line 15 & 16 - I know what you was trying to say --- that your imagination doesn’t pay attention to others notions, but it does not seem to fit with the rest of the poem... .the imagination is a pure creative tools, it does not care about nothing but creating, and exploring its creations. The imaginations is like a God .. without it nothing is created. Try this and see what you think …

“Omniscient
Novas, my imagination”


Imagination is the beginning of life, like a super nova … all things are possible in such a light; they say that is how life began, with a big bang! God's imagination!

Now I am not telling you how to write your poem, I am just giving you some alternatives. I have not changed the meaning of your poem, I have just showed you how to used different words to get your message across.

Like I said, it has the making of a very good acrostic … and you used fewer words to convey your meaning.

Oh it feel so good to be back blogging! Thank you for allowing me to enjoy your poem.

Amias said...

Congratulations!
You have won BWA. Please click HERE to see how your work was presented.

The Blessed One said...

Really well presented and definitely deserving of a BWA..Keep up the good work..ur brilliant!

Miss Sunshine said...

thanks TBO..but it wouldnt be possible without Amias :)

THANKS SO MUCH AMIAS! YOU ROCK! :D