Saturday, June 20, 2009

Broken Verses



Between the moments of despair,
Reddening my conscience,
Opens the crowded bloom.
Knowingly or unknowingly,
Each and every breath,
Negotiates with my thoughts.

Versatile, I thought they were,
Emotion churning magnetisms,
Roaring and burning my thoughts,
Savouring every ounce of tear.
Epitome of sadness, the prose of my life would disappear,
So many misgivings, the broken verses would surrender.




P.S.: I saw the name "Broken Verses" on a bookcover. I don't even remember the author, but it just stuck, and instantly I knew it was to be spinned into an acrostic :)
Hope it makes sense.

23 comments:

Brosreview said...

Among the other poems that I have read here, this seems quite matured. I like it!

Indeed, I can feel, the verses are broken. Good job! Keep writing!!!

Terri Bebla said...

Hi there,

I enjoyed this, it reminds me of one of my poems, it is also an acrostic.

It is called when emotion and paper collide, I think you would enjoy it.

Satans Darling™ said...

I agree with Brosreview. This one is a matured poem :) Nice job!

Miss Sunshine said...

@B
I had to try hard to keep d broken verses, yet make some sense...hhehe..
Thanks, that's like the best comment ever :P :)

@TB
hey, thanks for coming :)
thanku very much, and surely , i'l visit ur profile :)

@Ash
YAYYYYYIIEE! thaankkkkkkkkkku :D
not a babbbbbbbby anymore. hahaha

Princess Caspian said...

ahan...
Finally I can say there is SOMETHING mature about you...nice nice..;)

Fatima said...

Total justice. You brought out the meaning!

Miss Sunshine said...

@PC
CHUP karle :P hehehe
thaaaanks

@Fatima
hey, thanks very much :)

mysterious gal said...

man is this u? u writing such poetry too ? WOW this was like magnificent and just too matured and just too good ...keep writing gal

Miss Sunshine said...

@Nabs
*EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*
Yes me, I was being wannabe-Ash-and-Nabs, sprinkled with a bit of Ms. R. :P

Thaaaaaaaankyou :D

dreamer said...

Really a nice Acrostic.....enjoyed it.Keep writing!!

Miss Sunshine said...

@Dreamer
hey..thanks a ton :)

~PrIncEsS nUcHu~ said...

Wonderful one :)

~PrIncEsS nUcHu~ said...

Wonderful one :)

Miss Sunshine said...

@Nuchu
thaaanku :D

The Blessed One said...

The acrostic is really cool!wish it had a happy ending though :) but it sound really professional :D

Miss Sunshine said...

it doesnt have an ending..
It's just a stated truth or smthn..not a series of events.. thanks..

Amias said...

I like this, but the last two lines knocks it off balance.

I read the reviews to this book, and if it's in English, I plan on getting it so that I can experience this author.

Thanks for the suggestion. :)

Miss Sunshine said...

Yes it is in English :D
and could u please, again, shed some light? I'd like to make it better :)

Maggie said...

I enjoyed most of the poem but to be a true acrostic...I think it was too long in the lines.

Good attempt.:)

Miss Sunshine said...

@maggie
yeah, perhaps. :D but i just cudnt express it in a short manner :D Hope i could do somethin bttr now :)

Amias said...

Miss Sunshine,
Post it to the workshop blog and I will work on it with you .. give you some suggestions.

Amias said...

Hi Miss Sunshine.
I have completed it. Hope it helps. I must say you are growing in leaps and bounds .. for one so young, in your writing. Keep up the good work!

Miss Sunshine said...

thanks so much :D i am sure it would help :D