Sunday, June 14, 2009

It Never Felt Easier..



I’ve done this uncountable times, you know that. It’s not even refreshingly nice now, isn’t it?
I know you’ll say no..cuz this time it’s different. We both know why.

I never ever had known the meaning of love, for the past two years. Really. Yes, I loved you, but the full blown impact was never known. Everyone defines love, it’s attraction, care, warmth combined, so I also thought, well I am in love. I am in love because I feel the same when I am with you. I used to wonder in the past two years (sans the past two days), do we really “love” each other? Or is it a mere , super strong attraction? Which will fade out? In a while, maybe 4-5 years, but will it? I never really could understand what the word meant. Love. Isn’t it too complicated? I wanted it to stay, I wanted to be with you forever. I wanted to dream about growling old with you. I wanted to sing hopelessly romantic songs for you. But, something nagged me. Something deflated my happiness’ air balloon. Just a pin prick. But it did. For the past two years. Not that I did not feel loved, or that I did not feel attracted to you. I was scared. I was scared of all this vanishing. I was scared if this was true love or not. I did not wanna lose you after all this!

We were never the usual couple, as in the ones in our age group, were we? We never did public display of affections, no over-the-top show of the surge of love, nothing. No dates. (if you don’t count the gol-gappe waala dates ;) ) No show of money. We were just plain, stupid people. We never changed partners every six months, did we? See. I know people, friends admired us for our strong bond. But there were jealous people too. How, we never swayed, until, well a bit ago?
How we were unfazed, as to how , what will someone think about us? We couldn’t care, when we were together. Could we? I was yours, you were mine. It was a picture perfect tale, as the others said.

But, we had our shares of problems, din’t we? It was so much, that I couldn’t handle it. I broke it all off, did I not? I thought it was all over. I thought we were done. I thought, we were also like those innumerable ones who couldn’t stay. I thought I was back to being a part of the dull, grey universe I was a part of, until I met you.
You thought that too. And Why not? You’re human too. You thought maybe I hated you from the core of my heart. You shattered.

What you did not do is, leave hope. You clutched it tighter than your soul. What you did in the past two days, twirled my world. Completely. Your dedication, the magnet of affection, the unsurpassable thankfulness for every “I love you” I said, I could feel it. Too. I could feel it all coming to me, to us, like a crash of tsunami. Then I knew. I knew it. I knew it was love. The answer I was waiting for, had finally come walking to me. It all felt so easy that time. Did it not? You told me, you feel different too, why not? We had attained something unbeatable. I love you. I knew it. There, that moment, you said you could do anything for me, I knew. I knew I could lay down my life for you, unflinchingly. I knew nobody could understand, what we felt. What I felt, at that time.


It’s easy to say we’re in love. But at that moment, it never felt easier.











21 comments:

Hopeless Romantic said...

hmm...give it some time...sometimes u need to be away to realise what it means to be closer..hope things wld work out!

all the best,
HR

Hopeless Romantic said...

Love is more about hw u stay away from each other as it is staying together !

Hope u get back to singing hopeless romantic songs soon!

Ms.R. said...

Welcome to the other side...

Tocuhwood.. May your bond stay so strong forever. And hoping God protect you love birds from evil eye (cuz true love is rare)

Hugggz!

Miss Sunshine said...

@HR
we're back. Back to being crazily in love. :)
thanks :)

@ms. R.
yea..i know. I am going to keep him wimme..forever. :D

divya said...

hmm...hope nothing ever changes the way u feel!

The Blessed One said...

:)I love you my baby!your da best!you really r da one!we'll always be together love you!take care!love will keep us together and protect us :)
@Miss R.,Divya and Hopeless romantic thanks!

Miss Sunshine said...

@Divya
I don't think it will :)

@TBO
i love you too. <3
like crazy. hehe muah!

Satans Darling™ said...

Aww you guys... God bless both of you.. May you live together forever and ever :)

Quirky Mon said...

Defining love had been tough for me too...my first relationship was more of a co-dependency, utmost care and friendship. When it didn't work out, I mourned for days, but moved on in life although the good memories still persist. And I was duped in my second relationship. So, true love that persists for a lifetime is very rare to come by. I've very conservative views on love and relationships, like the relationship you described in the post...I yearn for that and blessed are the ones who get it. Hold onto him, girl. You are one lucky girl :)

BlossomBlue said...

True said mon.. Miss sunshine u r one lucky girl..
God bless u both..

~PrIncEsS nUcHu~ said...

HOLD EACH OTHER SO TIGHT

Long Live your Love dear and grow each and every second..

♥ÐÅyÐяєÅмє®♥ said...

short term breaks are always so fun :P

we used to have alot :)
but watch my words don't ever take the other for granted... :)
congrats
and was lovely post :)

Miss Sunshine said...

@Ash
he's already the blessed one.. hehe
thanks :D

@Mon
I guess you exactly know what I meant. The past three days, have made me know better , than to let go of him. Thanks :)
You're prince charming will come, some day. That's what I believe.
:)

@BB
I am the luckiest , I think. :D
thanks a lot!

@Nuchu
thanks so much, you know all these wishes mean so much to me..and yeah, i will never ever let go of him. :)

@Daydreamer
I beg to differ. :)
I hated my short term break, but well, to each his own.
and thanks :D

Smita said...

Awww!!! this post touched my heart & I mean it :-)

Somewhere in between I felt I was reading what I had felt few years back though the relationship didn't survive but those were the best days of my life :)

Miss Sunshine said...

@Smita
:) thanks so much :)
remniscing the best is the only thing we should think about, rightly said. :D

Brosreview said...

It is a very complex and confused feeling with steady ups and downs. This post is quite heartfelt, frankly. Keep expressing! Once it is out, you might find yourself lighter. Or, you may not.

Miss Sunshine said...

@B
:D
It was all okay , even before i started writing the post..and I felt even better expressing it.. :D
and yea..super duper complex feeling :P :D

Miss Sunshine said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Princess Caspian said...

To Sunshine(I don't like using the Miss with it :P)

I can't say anything....its just so beautiful...it feels like yesterday you walked into our class and all grinning!telling me the whole story...boy...u people have stuck up...and i have a gut feeling (and you know my gut feelings turn out to be true) u will till the end!

TOUCHWOOD!

Bless you both...

To Blessed One

She might have doubted your relationship at times...but believe me...i never did...you both were like this perfect love birds I'd only read about!Touchwood again...And one more thing...though you people never went that 'public' way, I was the one always embarrassing you both...:P...and I promise I'll do that time and again! Well until you take it offensively!

LOVE....
Mri(I did not want this coming from 'Princess Caspian')

Miss Sunshine said...

@Mri
you touched my heart :D really. and i love you so much :) :) for praying for us, for wanting us to be together.. :D
xoxoxoxoxo! :D

The Blessed One said...

:) :) :)